“…there’s an ice in suicide// that drives emotions so cold, //leaving a troubled mind in quagmire// to sing endless notes of rejection on paper…”
~Opia-Enwemuche Maxwell Onyemaechi
SUICIDE is not a word meant for lullabies nor is it a word used carelessly during an official gathering. It is a word that has long been associated with evil and those who are involved in the act tend to stain their roots or family name as the case may be. Let me not be judgemental here, but as an apostle of humanity who believes in doing the right thing for the advancement of the good course of humans, I call a spade its name without mincing words for fear of what my neighbour will say. What is bad is bad and what is good is good. There’s no other word to substitute what is bad by painting it good in the light of the day. SUICIDE IS BAD no matter the angle one wants to look at it from.
I don’t know why I feel this urge to write this at this point in time. When I was in primary school I heard of a boy in my school then who was in primary six that jumped into a ditch in a bid to kill himself within the school premises and invariably free himself from the worries of this life. He had issues bothering him and his actions no matter how you try to view it was suicidal which would have left everyone in pain and who knows would have also taken another life. Be that as it may, depression is actually the precursor of suicide and if we can tackle depression by nipping it in the bud, then the cases of incessant suicide will be reduced if not eradicated completely.
Don’t paint a map of rejection on your body.
We are all products of humans on planet earth, except aliens if they exist, and living in this enclosed world called earth comes with its daily ups and downs. We may seek for love in areas where they are not in existence or we may be denied love in areas where we are supposed to get them. How do we handle these situations? Of course, we must feel rejected since we are humans, but do we carry it as a burden by painting these daily maps of rejections all over our body that we seem not to have enough room to paint? These are little triggers that if neglected can degenerate into something colossal, a burden too much to bear. Imagine one been told that he/she can never amount to anything in life and this statement is not properly handled will resonate in the mind of such individual until visible damage is done. Imagine one been told that he/she can never become a worthy writer no matter how good he/she feels he/she can become. Just imagine so many negative arrows been shot at you and how you’ve survived all these years by not carrying any of them as a burden. Most of us have survived our negative experiences and others still carry theirs as a map painted all over their bodies as a sign of remembrance. My advice to these set of people out there is to turn their REJECT-IONS into IONS by rejecting the word REJECT in REJECT-IONS and adopting the roles of IONS in order to enjoy their lives to the fullest. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Let nobody deceive you on this.
Do not see yourself as an object. You’re human.
Every human is created for a purpose and this purpose spurs him/her to want to fill the vacuum created in this world, but not to create a vacuum. We are all humans except a new order by the creator who orchestrates the activities of this world is born. To see yourself as an object or anything less or be subjected to some unholy practice as the case may be is a great height of personal irresponsibility. Humans feel pain and this pains most times must be discussed. Even a prisoner locked up in a maximum security prison is given time to express himself/herself. A prisoner of conscience should also have the same right and opportunity to express himself/herself. We are what we think we are. If I see myself as an object or treat myself as a fictional character created in a book I just read, I become vulnerable to my real personality and my actions become or appear weird to a third party. My advice to people especially writers and the man on the street is to see themselves as humans and not objects.
Do not be selfish. Think about others
Every life needs support no matter the quality of life. Even lesser animals or better still insects depend on each other for survival. Life is all about giving and taking. This is a natural law and there is nothing anybody can do about it. If I can use my writings to heal the world, I can as well get my healing from somewhere even though it is not writing. It may be moderate alcohol for instance or listening to quality music or even exercising myself by way of jogging or playing a chosen sport like football. As humans, we should take a cue from lower animals like bees or ants or even termites. They live to help one another. Why can’t we think of others before taking some certain decisions? When it comes to life, life support and eventual death, why do we need a witness for some crucial decisions in life? We need to start thinking differently by initiating a paradigm shift. We need to be more altruistic rather than becoming egocentric. We need to think about others and avert some ugly situations in this journey called life. My advice to people out there is to look after yourself, think about yourself, but most importantly, consider others around you especially your loved ones and those whose lives have been affected by yours before taking decisions that will shatter theirs. Consider those who see you as their role model not knowing the mental battles you are facing and retrace your step to taking a wrong decision that will end your life.
Grief is not a garment and agony is not a necklace. Break loose!
We are all humans as stated before now. It is a fact that I believe will stand for a long time to come. We have feelings and for such reason, we are entitled to grief and agony when the unimaginable happens or we find ourselves in a terrible situation. The lachrymal glands open up for torrents of tears to water our wonderful and beautiful faces laced with sadness. This is true and no one can dispute this fact. However, when we wear this grief for too long and make the agony we pass through as our necklace for the world to care for us endlessly, we become an object, a less human that cannot take a quality decision as per moving on with life. The principle of day and night will forever remain vital. Whether the sun shines very well or not, the night must come to take its place and the earth must rotate. This is the natural law except it is changed tomorrow. When you wear your grief as a garment and agony and as a necklace, there are chances that your thoughts will be polluted even in the presence of good intentions. I can remember when I lost a loved one at a tender age; I questioned God and the human factor that could not keep that person alive. I became angry with God and humanity and this hatred was worn as a garment for a very long time. It made me avoided a lot of things at a tender stage. I was very aggressive and had no friends. I eventually came out of that. I believe it would be a story for another day. My advice to people out there is not to christen their challenges with a name like demons, not to wear grief as garments and agony as necklaces but to strive to break loose and move on with life. Although sorrow may endure in the night, absolute joy comes in the morning if one seeks it. Break loose and break free. Freedom is nothing if we are complacent about it. Most importantly, don’t trivialize issues.
Share your thoughts with those who can help (professionals)
I once watched an animated movie entitled, Antz. I would subscribe to this movie to everyone who is reading this. I believe you will take home one or two important lessons from this movie. Life in itself is beyond movies as it speaks of reality as real as the air we breathe and the things we see, feel and touch. As abstract as our thoughts may appear to a third party, we should try not to give it too much flesh that it overpowers us into taking the wrong decision. If options exist in life and we fail to choose those options, then we are among all men the greatest of all cowards. Even the holy book assuaged, choose ye this day by way of creating awareness in our power of choice. It went further to counsel on making an informed decision. Our head housing our brain was not created out of place to be at the top of our body, but to reason rationally without complications. When we fall, we need help to rise again. Even our Lord on His way to Golgotha fell three times and was raised in the same order. At some point, his burden was shouldered by others. When we are challenged mentally, we need to seek urgent help from consulting professionals. By so doing we see the bigger picture out of life and not from our own point of view alone. There are various points of views to a challenge that will change the course of reasoning forever. If only we can embrace this approach, the rate of suicide attempt will reduce and who knows, may eventually fizzle out of our environment. My advice is that if you ever find yourself in a state of mental instability, seek professional help. Depression is not a garment to be worn for an exhibition. Speak out as soon as possible before light out. May your light never go out in the height of your prime to disappoint those who believe in you and your legacies to change the face of this world. Believe in yourself more and the strength to continue will wake up in you, the latent state inside of you. Share your thoughts and live strong.
Our minds may be different as well as our thoughts, but there are thoughts that come to certain minds that will liberate humanity. I may not be qualified medically to give out any form of advice on the subject hence the fifth lesson, but as an apostle of humanity who believes in doing the right thing for the advancement of the good course of humans, I call a spade its name without mincing words for fear of what my neighbour will say. I will contribute my own quota in my own little way to help in solving this global challenge called SUICIDE. If only we can define the bad things that appear before us with positive thoughts, we can overcome easily. Death is not an option of healing oneself when it comes to therapy. There’s a bigger picture in life if only you can search carefully. I am a Christian because I willingly submitted myself to the knowledge of Christ who told me in John 1: 12 that as many as received him to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name and this has not only helped me to shape my life, but to see the bigger picture in life no matter the situation and circumstances. We all have our fears and what we go through and have not killed ourselves because whatever that trouble us cannot be greater than the strength in us that made it through into this world alive.
I have summarized S-U-I-C-I-D-E below and I pray that whoever that is suffering from a mental challenge would see the bigger picture in life and stay alive to inspire us.
S-ee the bigger picture in life
U-nderstand the true meaning of living
I-nterface with humanity for solutions
C-reate a positive atmosphere around you
I-nteract with the things that set you back
D-eal with issues not through death
E-mbark on a personal mental recovery
These are my humble submission on 5 important notes on how not to commit suicide in simple lessons. My name is Opia-Enwemuche Maxwell Onyemaechi and I believe in humanity by doing the right thing for the advancement of the good course of humans.
Opia-Enwemuche Maxwell Onyemaechi